Happy Monday

I am very pleased today because I feel I had accomplished something.

For this week, I am striving hard to focus on my dissertation writing and stay away from unnecessary internet use. I feel I was really able to do that, yehey!!! It feels so great after being such a slacker and procrastinator in most days. If I will be able to continue doing this during the day while I am at the office for the next 60 days, I will be able to finish writing and will be able to defend in summer. I already have a postdoc position, I will start in September, so I can not delay. I am the kind of person who wants (needs?) external pressure, having a postdoc position waiting is really motivation enough (I am really lucky in a lot of things).

As for the writing, I just continue typing my points. The transitioning and everything will be taken cared of in the editing process. I throw perfectionism out of the window or else I will not be able to proceed to next chapter. Writing is writing, editing is editing. For now, I am writing.

After having a pretty productive day, in very rare ocassions, I accompanied the BF for shopping. His shopping style is really just under 30 minutes but I still feel elated for this opportunity because he only shops like 3 times a year. After this, an awesome dinner out. What a day! What more can I ask?

Goal for tomorrow: focus on the tasks and hopefully can sustain 6 hours of work.

Exasperated

For this specific post, I will digress from the purpose of this blog (I hope this will not become norm).

I am not a whining kind of person primarily because I was brought-up not to question authority so I just accept (bad or so-so) things as they are. Of course, this attitude is not applicable anymore to my current stage of life. I should be a mature and responsible adult now and I should be able to know when to question authority.

Going back to whining, yes, I am gonna whine today. How can people be acting all so nice (and they think they are really the nicest people of all the universe) to another person yet bitching about the same person to other people? I mean if you have issues, why not discuss it with the primary person involved? This hypocrisy is so beyond me. I can't comprehend it. As much as I wish I can pull a political animal act crap, I just can't because I am so transparent. How do you react? Mad? Disappointed? Cry? Laugh?

Unfortunately this has happened to me recently, from someone whom, to mention a few, I was spending long hours listening (in the middle of the day and even late at night) to her litany of problems and whom I was trying to help sort out her feelings and thoughts so she can give the situation in interest a better perspective. If I personally have issues with her actions before, I have tried to resolve them myself. I confronted her personally about this particular issue. She made up a lame excuse said that it was not really me but other people but since I really caught her then she just said she did not mean to hurt me. I cannot tolerate these kinds of people. I don't know if I will just forget about the whole ordeal or just move on. What are your thoughts?

Writing Reflections

The original purpose why I started this blog is to be able to write again.

I remember I used to like writing when I was younger. However, in college, I have not been able to do a lot of writing (not even free writing). This past few months, I have embarked on the dissertation-writing process and I have found it to be extremely frustrating. I have prepared an outline and I know the key points that I want to make but I cannot compose the story!

I feel that scientific writing is very limiting. I realize it is for different purposes, the main of which is to convey a technical information to the audience. I have noticed lately that it takes forever for me to compose a reply to an email especially if it is not just a simple yes or no. It is obvious that I have been lacking writing practice. I want to be able to feel how to write in my own voice again. I want to be able to express and discuss my opinions and ideas in a logical manner so that I will be able to be a more assertive person.

The lesson of the day for me is practice, practice, practice. Practice makes perfect as the cliche goes.

Evaluation on last week's and Plan for this week

A. DISSERTATION:
1. Revise Chapter 1: still working on it
2. Continue working on the Theory Part
3. Start Chapter 3B.

RESEARCH:
1. Figure-out why correction is not working out: still working on it
2. calculate **** energies
3. rerun for different systems

C. Study for the class. done

D. Exercise 3 times this week done

E. Read recent journal articles. done

I am still overhauling Chapter 1. I have lots of ideas I want to incorporate. I will show it to someone tomorrow morning and so I really want it to be done. I am trying hard to be not so harsh on myself as long as I am progressing. Automatically, this list will still be my list for this week.


I am trying to be more conscious of my distractions. Here are some form last week:

1. Emotions. I was pretty pissed off with my BF the entire day Monday. I don't even remember now what was it all about. A total waste of time!
Solution: I have to control my emotions.

2. Reading blogs. There are lots of great blogs in the blogosphere. I am a newbie here and whenever I came across an interesting blog, I want to read from the very beginning that specific blog was conceived.
Solution: I should schedule reading blogs. Maybe I can consider it a reward when I finished a few pages or did any dissertation-related stuff?

3. Checking email. I check emails all the time! A lot of times I know I am not gonna receive important mail but still I continue checking it.
Solution: I should not read email at the start of my day. It doesn't work! Once I get started, I can't stop. Schedule email time and follow it!

4. Lunch. I spend maybe an hour to an hour and half for lunch.
Solution: Limit lunch to one hour.

5. Chatting with boss. As much as I wanted to enjoy talking with my boss, it can go on for hours. I learn a lot from our chatting non-research (or dissertation) related stuff; our chats range from academia life, administration, politics, women, etc.
Solution: Limit chatting. Maybe I need to be more assertive sometimes if the chatting is too long already.

6. Calling banks, customer service, etc, etc.


What worked this week? I was able to be productive this week in these conditions:

1. Going to the library (after going to Church) on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. From where I was working, I was able to see beautiful scenery, it's good.

2. Not opening internet explorer for a few hours using some blocker.

3. Working late night to early morning (sadly). I was trying to avoid this one because my BF has a regular job and wants to spend time with me after working hours. He wants to sleep early since he goes to work at 6 am! He tries to help me wake up early so I can work early and we still have time together later in the day (evening). But if I continue this schedule, this will not great for us. To all night-owls who are in the same situation, how do you do it?

This week, I will try to eliminate some distractions and hopefully note some more things that work :)

Freaking Out

I am freaking out right now. I checked my goals for the week and I cannot even cross one! It is already the end of the week. I did a little of many things but still no solid finished work. Maybe my goals are unrealistic? For some reason, there is a big gap between my estimate time and the actual time needed to do the work.

I vow to start my Friday with writing, in particular with revising Chapter 1.

One Step at a Time

Yes, I started working on research again. The last time I worked on it was a month ago! (Is it pretty obvious that I had been avoiding this for awhile now?) This is just a confirmation that I really have this cycle that whenever I get stuck with a project I drop it and move on to other projects until I get stuck again and go back to the projects I dropped before or move on to another project. At the end of the day, I have many unfinished projects. I know that sometimes one needs to take a little break but one month (I even have projects I left untouched for few months)? I think this is too much of being away. The idea is that it should not be very long that one lost continuity. I should really work on this vicious cylcle I am in. If you want break from your project, how long should it be that it is still not considered counter-productive?

Right now, I am feeling pretty lost and I don't know where to start. I have to spend hours remembering what I did before before I will be up to speed again :(

My List of things to do for April 16-20

A. DISSERTATION:
1. Revise Chapter 1
2. Continue working on the Theory Part
3. Start Chapter 3

B. RESEARCH:
1. Figure-out why triples correction is not working out
2. calculate **** energies
3. rerun for different systems

C. Study for the class.

D. Exercise 3 times this week

E. Read recent journal articles.


My work-plan for this week is:

morning: work on research
afternoon: work on dissertation
between 6:30-9 pm: exercise, dinner, break
the rest of the evening: study for class, read recent journal articles

I really hope to do a lot of work this week; I have difficulty multi-tasking. The past two weeks, I only worked on writing my disseration though I know I still need to work on my some aspects of my research. I am envious of people who can juggle a lot of things at the same time!

A New Blogger is in Town

I am excited to start blogging. As of the moment, I am in the stage of writing my dissertation. Eventually, I wish to be a professor someday. Accidentally, a few weeks ago, I came accross a blog of a graduate student and then from there I regularly read great blogs of various awesome people on their experiences as graduate students, postdocs, and professors. I find their blogs very insightful and inspired me to start my own. Join me as I navigate this challenging career path, being an academic, that we find very attractive